I no longer need guilt as a motivator

May 28, 2012 at 10:02 am | Posted in Blogroll, Out of my mind, Real-life experiences | 1 Comment

Till a few months back I found guilt a strong motivator. It kept me reminding, almost nagging, for what in others’ opinion I had done wrong. Since this was an automatic reaction, with habit I felt guilt for what I thought others might think as my mistake, because in the past somebody else had thought so in similar circumstances.

This went on for years and got deeply ingrained, till one day I suddenly realized what a fool I was being. Everything became so clear. There was a much better way. This insight came from agile software development. Agile encourages one to learn from failures, decide on change required hereafter, plan the actions to execute and move on. This experience of treating failures as opportunities to improve had a very positive feeling. It was a much better and stronger motivation. I no longer needed guilt. It was sapping my energy and taking me away from reality.

Thereafter, I seriously put it in practice. Initially it was not easy, but successes with this different approach kept me on track. Now it has become a second nature. There is no time for guilt.

Now when I watch others go through the guilt cycle, sometimes I am amused but mostly sad. It is such a waste of time & energy. But it is also so tough to communicate this by explaining till the other person is ready to try it out. If you still feel guilty just try it out; it is a wonderful experience.

 

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  1. This is an honest confession put boldly. Thanks. (Many of us try to hide our weaknesses even though at some point of time, we overcome them).

    BTW, can you please suggest some more readings and case studies on agile. (I am not from Software background – A layman’s explanations and the matter is what I need)


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